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Your people are on loan to you.

ricky.muddimer@clearthefriction.co.uk (Ricky) — Sat, 13 Jun 2026 11:01:01 GMT

Here’s a thought that sounds harsh but isn’t: your people are on loan to you.

Every one of them. They’re not yours to keep; they’re yours to get the best from while they’re with you, and, ideally, to send on better than you found them. Hold that idea properly, and it changes how you handle the two hardest moments in managing anyone: when someone isn’t working out, and when someone outgrows you. In the following sections, I’ll break down practical steps and real examples you can use, so you’ll come away with clear actions to put into practice.

I’ve lived both. Let me tell you about each.

When someone isn’t working out: the mirror test

Years ago, I took over a contact centre. I had 10 team leaders, each responsible for coaching their team, ensuring compliance, and meeting sales targets. One of them was struggling.

My mantra as a manager has always been simple: before I conclude that someone can’t do the job, I have to be certain I’ve given them every chance to. Coaching. Training. Honest feedback. Clear goals. If I can look myself in the mirror and know I did all of that, then whatever’s left is down to them — a lack of skill, or a lack of will.

So that’s what I did. I set really clear goals, each within their capability, and we agreed on tight review periods to track progress. It didn’t take long to see they weren’t going to make the grade.

I sat them down and put it plainly: we had two choices. I could escalate into a formal performance process, or we could work together to find a role that suited them better. A week later, they resigned. And when they handed me their resignation, they thanked me. They’d been unhappy for a long time, going through the motions, and somewhere underneath they already knew. The honest conversation was a release for both of us.

Being nice is not being kind.

That’s the part most owners get wrong. When someone’s struggling, the decent instinct is patience — which slowly curdles into avoidance. You like them. You want them to win. So you say nothing and hope.

Hope and pray is not a strategy.

But keeping someone in a role they can’t do, out of kindness, isn’t kind. It’s unfair to them — stuck somewhere they can’t succeed and quietly knowing it. It’s unfair to the team carrying them. And it’s corrosive to trust, because the moment your standards become optional for one person, they become optional for everyone.

Being nice feels decent. Being clear is what’s actually kind. Done properly — every chance given, then an honest conversation — letting someone go can be the kindest thing you do for them.

The ‘every chance’ test

Letting go is the last move, not the first. Before you get there, run the mirror test honestly. Did you set the expectation clearly — the what and the why? Did you coach and catch them in, not just out? Did you give real support and real time? If you can answer yes to all of it and the performance still isn’t there, a clean, respectful change is the right call — for them as much as you.

But if you can’t answer yes, the problem might still be fixable, and the person deserves that chance. Be honest about what it is. Hope is not a plan — it’s just avoidance wearing a kinder face.

When someone outgrows you, let them go with your blessing

Now the other end — and a story I’ll never tire of telling.

In that same world, I once led a team trained to handle a hundred thousand calls a year and to turn service conversations into sales. One man stood out. He had the rare combination: he made customers feel genuinely looked after, and he could sniff out an opportunity and match what we offered to what they actually needed—the perfect win-win.

Then a merger wiped out the team, and we all had to find our way to something new. He and a friend set up their own business — an outbound sales operation selling to schools. Early on, he came to me for advice. They half-hoped to employ me; instead, I became their adviser, helping them think through their aims, their ambitions, their challenges.

Seventeen years on, that business is a multi-million-pound company, employing twenty people and helping thousands of schools every year. I couldn’t be prouder of what he’s built.

I didn’t get to choose to let him go — a merger did that. But here’s the point: whether losing a great person feels like a loss or a source of pride is entirely about how you hold it. Cling, clip wings, make people feel they owe you, and you’ll end up with a team of those who had nowhere better to go. Back people, develop them, send them off well — and they come back into your life as advisees, clients, partners, advocates. Become the business that great people came from.

Never be caught without a plan.

The flip side of “on loan” is simple: always have a plan to replace.

The single biggest risk in most small businesses is one brilliant, irreplaceable person with no understudy. Ask yourself: who, if they resigned tomorrow, would leave a hole you couldn’t fill? That’s not a measure of loyalty — it’s a measure of exposure. Build successors before you need them. Cross-train. Get the knowledge that lives only in people’s heads written down and shared. Develop the layer below so there’s always someone ready to step into the next role. Succession isn’t about expecting people to leave — it’s about never being held hostage by the fear that they might.

Two questions to sit with

Be honest with both.

Who have you been giving “one more chance” for longer than is fair — to them, to the team, or to you? That’s a conversation you owe someone.

And who would you genuinely struggle to replace tomorrow? That’s a plan you owe yourself.

Progress, not perfection

Managing people well means holding two kinds of courage at once: the courage to let go when it isn’t working, and the generosity to let go when someone’s ready to fly. Both feel hard. Both leave your business — and the people in it — stronger.

Because in the end, the right people, clear on what’s expected, well-managed, and free to grow, are what let a business become bigger than the person who built it. That was always the point.

Catch people in, not out.

ricky.muddimer@clearthefriction.co.uk (Ricky) — Sat, 13 Jun 2026 10:49:34 GMT

Be honest for a second. When you walk over to someone on your team, what does it usually mean?

For most owners, the answer is: something’s gone wrong. You appear when there’s a fire to put out, a standard that’s slipped, a mistake to unpick.

Without ever meaning to, you’ve taught your people one quiet lesson: when the boss shows up, brace yourself. That’s managing by exception, and it’s a trap. Because if the only time you engage is when something’s wrong, you’ll miss the thing that changes everything: what’s already going right.

Let me show you what I mean. In a moment, I'll share practical ways to put this into action, so you can use these ideas with your own team.

The rainmaker who didn’t know it yet

When I was the commercial director of a boutique consultancy, one of my team struggled with sales. Not for lack of ability — they were technically excellent at their role and superb at building real, genuine connections with people. I knew that firsthand: before I joined the firm, they were the ones who’d come and sold to me.

Here’s the thing, though: they were already doing the right things. The only thing holding them back was their thinking. They’d decided they couldn’t pitch the bigger deals or close with senior people — so they didn’t even try.

So we sat down and properly looked at the business they’d actually done. And a pattern jumped straight out. Their first deal with a client was often modest — but they’d go on to sell more and more to that same client over time. They weren’t doing small deals at all. They were doing big ones; they’d just built them quietly, over months, and never given themselves the credit.

That’s what I reflected. I didn’t hand them a pep talk or pack them off on a course — I used the great work they were already doing to reframe how they saw themselves. We set a clear goal — land one big deal up front — and turned their own track record into a story they could take to a new client and show, with evidence, exactly what they could do.

They signed a big deal in a month. Then five more in six months. Their contribution to the business went from modest to significant — and the change in them was the real story: the confidence, the belief, the pride. They became one of our most prolific performers, the person the business turned to as a rainmaker. And when I was promoted to MD, I asked them to take my place and lead the commercial team.

None of that came from catching them out. It came from catching them in — recognising the right things they were already doing, and reflecting them until their thinking caught up with their ability. Sometimes the only thing standing between a good person and a great one is how they see themselves. Your job is to show them the truth.

Managing by exception is a trap.

Most owners do the opposite. You engage when something’s wrong and stay quiet when it’s right — and the logic feels sound. Why comment on people just doing their job?

But what gets noticed gets repeated. Say nothing when someone nails it, and you’ve told them, as clearly as words would, that it didn’t matter. Worse, you miss the chance to do what I did: show people the good they’re already doing but discounting or can’t yet see in themselves. Silence isn’t neutral. It’s a slow message that good work goes unseen — and good people don’t stay where they feel invisible.

The job isn’t policing — it’s developing.

Managing well isn’t about catching people out. It’s about catching them in: looking for what’s going right and saying so, and spotting what’s starting to slip early, while it’s still a quiet word and not a crisis.

This isn’t soft. It’s the opposite. A manager who only ever corrects is easy to tune out. A manager who notices everything — the good, the gap, and the potential — is one people want to be good for, and sometimes the one who changes the course of their career.

Above the line, below the line

Give yourself and your team a simple shared language: above-the-line and below-the-line.

Above the line is the behaviour and standard you want. When you see it, name it — not just for the person who did it, but so everyone sees what “good” looks like in your business.

Below the line is when someone falls short of the standard. Address it quickly and specifically, but as development, not punishment: “Here’s what I saw, here’s the standard, here’s how we get you back to it.” The aim is never to make someone feel small — it’s to bring them back to the line before below-the-line becomes normal. Because left unaddressed, it doesn’t stay still. It becomes the new standard, and everyone watching you, letting it slide quietly, concludes the standard was never real.

Make your praise actually mean something.

Here’s where most recognition falls flat: it’s generic. “Good job,” “nice one.” Forgettable, because it could be said to anyone about anything.

Recognition lands when it’s tied to impact — to the why. “The way you reframed that pitch is exactly why they signed.” “Because you caught that, the order went out on time and they reordered.” Now the person knows precisely what they did, why it mattered, and to whom. And they’ll do it again because they can see the point of it. That’s the same why from clarity, doing its second job: making the good worth repeating.

The one-week test

Want to know how you’re really managing? Count it. For one week, every time you give someone feedback, note whether it was positive or corrective. Then look at the ratio. If almost everything is corrective, that’s not a reflection on your people — it’s a reflection on your management. Flip it.

“But won’t praise make them complacent?”

It’s a fair worry, and I hear it a lot. The fear is that if you tell people they’re doing well, they’ll ease off.

My perspective: people don’t coast because they feel appreciated. They coast because nothing is expected of them and nothing is noticed either way. Recognition tied to a clear standard doesn’t lower the bar — it raises it. That salesperson didn’t get complacent when I showed them how good they were. They got bolder. Complacency grows in silence, not in honest, specific praise.

Progress, not perfection

You won’t get this perfect, and you don’t need to. You need to shift the balance — from only ever catching people out to mostly catching them in, with the hard conversations handled honestly when they’re needed.

Do that, and something changes. Your team starts holding itself to its own standards because it knows what good looks like and that it gets seen. People grow into the strengths you reflect on them. And every so often, you’ll get to do what I did — watch someone go from not believing in themselves to leading the very team you used to run. That’s what catching people in can build.

Your people aren't underperforming: they're guessing

ricky.muddimer@clearthefriction.co.uk (Ricky) — Sat, 13 Jun 2026 10:36:00 GMT

Have you ever found yourself disappointed, frustrated, even angry when something either hasn’t been done right or done at all?

Whether you manage, own or lead a business or team of any size, you've almost certainly felt that way at some point. And the uncomfortable truth, for anyone who's built a business, is this: most of the time, it's not your people letting you down. They're guessing.

Here's what I mean. I worked with the Operations Director of a manufacturing business. His team knew their jobs but leaned on him for the big decisions. In a meeting, he raised an issue he'd seen on the shop floor — explained it clearly, said it was unacceptable and couldn't happen again, because it was a safety risk. The team left. Three days later, he saw the exact same issue.

When we talked it through, I asked him: "When you raised it, who was responsible for resolving it?" He thought for a moment. "I expected they'd all get it sorted — I'd explained how important it was." "Yes," I said, "but who specifically owned the resolution?" He thought again. "I suppose… no one." "There was someone," I said. "It was you."

By leaving it open, he hadn't given the job to anyone — anyone he could hold to account if it happened again. His team didn't ignore him. They left the room, each assuming someone else had it. They were guessing.

You've hired good people. They turn up, they work hard, they want to do well. And yet the work isn't quite what you wanted, standards slip, decisions land back on your desk that shouldn't, and you catch yourself thinking it'd be quicker to do it yourself.

It's not your people — it's the clarity

The easy conclusion is that you've got the wrong people. Usually, you haven't. You've got people who were never told, clearly enough, what "right" actually looks like — or why it matters.

Because here's the thing: few owners realise that most performance problems are, in disguise, clarity problems.

People can't hit a target they can't see.

They can't meet a standard that lives only in your head.

And they can't make the decisions you wish they'd make if nobody's told them which decisions are theirs to make.

The six things every person must be clear on

Clarity isn't soft or fluffy. It's the foundation on which everything stands, and it covers far more than a job description. Every person in your business should be clear on six things:

Behaviour — how we're expected to act, not just what we do
Outputs — what they're actually here to deliver
Decision rights — what they can decide themselves, and what comes to you
Ways of working — how we operate, together and with customers
Standards — what "good" genuinely looks like
Goals — what we're aiming at, and how we'll know we hit them

There's a simple way to make each of these sharp. You'll know its more famous cousin, SMART — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.

I use the same five in a sharper order: SMTAR. Get specific, decide how you'll measure it, put a time on it, then sanity-check that it's achievable — and finish with the one that actually drives it: relevance, the why.

Most versions of SMART end on a deadline. This one ends on the reason it matters, because that's where commitment comes from. You'll find a full set of worked examples below— every area of clarity brought to life through SMTAR — at the end of this article.

The Piece most businesses miss: the why

But the six things only tell people what's expected. The piece that holds it all together is the why — why the role matters, why this task or project matters, and to whom.

Tell someone what to do, and you get compliance. Show them who's depending on them — the customer who's let down, the colleague who picks up the slack, the order that's lost when it slips — and you get commitment. People who think for themselves, because they understand what they're part of.

That connection is what most businesses miss. The what sets the expectation. The why is what makes people care about meeting it. Miss it, and you're left standing over everyone, because no one owns the outcome but you.

The Test

Pick anyone on your team and ask them to tell you, in their own words, what's expected of them, what they're allowed to decide without asking — and why their role matters, and to whom.

Then compare their answers to yours. The gaps aren't a people problem; they're your friction, and they cost you through escalations, rework, hesitation, and missed opportunities every single day. If they can't answer that last question, you've found the gap no process will ever fix.

Cadence is Key

Testing clarity is never a one-and-done thing; build in a cadence of checks and balances. Monthly is a good rhythm — though if your business is fast-paced, weekly might be more appropriate. The question you need to ask yourself is: "Am I prepared to leave my performance to chance?"

Do your people know what's expected of them (think ultra-high-definition clarity)?

Test at least monthly: ask each team member to describe their goals in detail, including the timeline and why they matter to the business and your customer.

Are you both on the same page? Is the outcome clear for both of you?

Now, when you review progress — daily, weekly or monthly — there should be no misunderstanding on either side about what's expected, and performance should be clear to both. Managing performance becomes easy: it's clear when people deserve praise, when they need support, and when they need to be held to account.

Get the what and the why right first. Coaching, accountability, the hard conversations — they only work once people know what they're held to, and why it counts.

"But I'm too busy to spell it all out"

I guess one of your challenges might be: "I'm busy running the business — I haven't got the time to spell everything out." My perspective is this: provided your people think like you, decide like you, and see the issues and problems as you do, then fine.

My guess is that's not the case. So, like it or not, you're going to spend the time. The only question is whether you spend it up front, providing clarity — the what and the why — or spend it later, fixing things that were misunderstood, misjudged or assumed, often fuelled by emotion. Hardly the foundation to build on.

My guidance: take the time up front. Be specific about what you want, agree a timeline, tell them how success will be measured — then ask them to play it back to you and clear up any confusion on the spot. It takes minutes, and you'll get what you asked for far more often than not. Minutes up front save you hours, sometimes days, later.

Progress, not perfection

None of this is about perfection. It's about progress. A business where people know what's expected and why it matters runs calmer, moves faster, and stops funnelling every decision back to the top. When you're trying to grow, that's the difference between a business that depends on you and one that can run without you in the room.

If you're not sure how clear any of this really is in your business, that's exactly what a friction diagnostic is for: an honest look at where the gaps are quietly costing you.

Worked examples: clarity brought to life with SMTAR

Examples of how you might bring each area of clarity to life using SMTAR. These can easily be checked during weekly check-ins or a monthly one-to-one. The numbers are illustrative — swap in your own.